Monks™ Available for Home or Office Installation
Through an arrangement with Abbot Gregor of the Monastery of St. Ioan in Suceava Rumania we are proud to finally be able to offer direct, personal Scriptorium services. For a small fee we can now replace your current laser or inkjet printer with a genuine Monk™ (similar to the one pictured below) fully trained in Greek, Latin and Hebrew transcription and multiple calligraphic styles.
Monks™ require minimal maintenance and are available in Ukrainian, Moldavian, Serbian and Coptic varieties. You also have your choice of beard styles, lengths and colors. Just provide your Monk™ with a bowl of gruel and a flask of water and make sure he has plenty of ink available and you’ll be able to produce many pages of attractive, scriptorium-quality output before he has to be replaced.
Unlike temperamental and noisy inkjet and laser printers, Monks™ have taken vows of humility, chastity, obedience and silence. They are used to physical mortification so they are durable and respond well to discipline. Monks™ are guaranteed to perform at an output level of 3 pages per hour in text mode or 1 page per hour in full-color illumination mode.
When your Monk™ is worn out, just place him in the handy plastic recycling bag and ship him back to the monastery to be recycled. A fresh monk will be sent back by return mail for a discounted replacement fee. Monks™ carry a full warranty, but the sanity clause in the warranty will be voided if you require copies of unholy texts such as the Necronomicon, De Vermis Mysteriis or the Pnakotic Manuscript.
Don’t be stuck in the Dark Ages! Order your Monk™ today.
April 1, 2011 | Filed Under Articles
New Font: BigBlok
A great many years ago when working in game publishing I had a real fascination with doing titles in a strong, super-bold font called Bolt Bold. The truth is I rather overused it. In doing some research I find it on more than a dozen different game books I wrote in the early 80s, all quite collectable and out of print today.
Every year around Halloween we come out with a new font that fits the spirit of the holiday, drawing on all sorts of sources for inspiration. You can find our past fonts in our Halloween Font and Art Collections. The font for this year is Undertaker, based on title lettering from Creepy magazine, the classic h[...]
BUY NOW Back in 1995 I designed a card game called Quest for the Grail and formed a publishing partnership to produce it called Stone Ring Games. I did a bunch of design work for the game, including designing a unique title font called Marmyadose. Marmyadose was a unique font, but it was too fancy to[...]
Sternhagen is a classically attractive font with a modernized gothic look which combines traditional elements from the high middle ages with a bit of Art Deco style. It will eventually be part of our Gothic Fonts Collections, but for now it is available singly.Sternhagen has a complete upper and lowercase charact[...]
BUY NOW TRY DEMO Custom Preview Startling Stories was a pulp-era science fiction magazine known for its lurid covers by Earle K. Bergey and its eye-catching title designs. It was a companion to Thrilling Wonder Stories and Fantastic Stories. The magazine was very successful in the immediate pos[...]
BUY NOW TRY DEMO Tilbury is based on advertising lettering from the 1930s. It has a unique and stylish look reminiscent of a swashed italic brush script. Tilbury includes a full character set with upper and lower case, numbers and punctuation. It has fully customized kerning and spacing as well.[...]
BUY NOW TRY DEMO Custom Preview Yancey is a new font based on a hand-lettered design by Samuel Welo in the late 1920s. It is very much in the tradition of Art Deco designs of that period and designed for decorative titles of poster design uses. Yancey includes two versions of the character set,[...]
BUY NOW TRY DEMO Custom Preview Script fonts can be a real challenge to design, especially when they are designed to have interconnecting characters which require exacting kerning and character positioning. When we first developed Orphiel we did a lot of kerning work on it, but despite a g[...]
I don't know what came over me one Halloween, but I couldn't get the idea of dancing skeletons out of my head. The classic dance of death, but a bit more expressive, with the skeletons working together to form the letters of a font. This resulted in the design for the Bonyeard font, where each letter is made [...]
BUY NOW TRY DEMO Custom Preview Our original Folkard font has achieved near legendary status as one of the most interesting calligraphic title fonts of the contemporary era. It has been enormously popular and appeared on movie titles, book covers, t-shirts and games. However it is not the only [...]
Pyle Gothic is based on lettering designed by Howard Pyle, from his Adventures of Robin Hood and King Arthur and His Knights. It combines elements of calligraphy and a simulation of primitive printing techniques.The original characters were carved into wood blocks from which the black and white illustrations wit[...]
BUY NOW TRY DEMO Custom Preview Escargot is based on lettering from the cover of an early pulp novel I came across a couple of months ago. It's a strong example of a distinctive style of sign and poster lettering from the 1930, characterized by super high contrast between the weighting on the le[...]
BUY NOW TRY DEMO Marquis Greeking is unreadable. It is supposed to be unreadable, because it is a Greeking Font, a font designed specifically to check layout and overall appearance without the distraction of the actual text. It contains variations of actual characters from our Marquis text font, w[...]
BUY NOW TRY DEMO Custom Preview Highball is a bold font in every sense of the word. Yes, its weight is heavy and pronounced in the traditional meaning of bold, but it is also of an extreme height which could be considered bold, and of a boldly progressive style. Highball features a full character s[...]
BUY NOW TRY DEMO Custom Preview Sanhedrin is a decorative futuristic font, which features two distinct sets of different characters and a number of additional special characters. It draws some characters from the Greek alphabet and also has some unusual art nouveau character forms and a strange biblic[...]
BUY NOW Barataria is an elegant text and titling font with some unique features that really stand out for designing decorative logos with an elegant vintage look. It has a bit of a piratical look, a sort of more refined alternative to our Windlass font. This revised version features smoother outline[more]
In January of 1891 Little Folks Magazine published a special feature of a calendar designed and illustrated by Walter Crane with accompanying verses by his eldest daughter Beatrice. Each of the 12 panels has a figurative depiction of the month, a decorated initial and a topical verse. In style they are rather reminisce[more]
There are only two things we can really be sure of in life, death and taxes. This is the season where we are most reminded of the grim specter of the tax man lurking just around the corner. We can't take away his burdensome presence, but maybe we can making it a bit lighter by reminding you that your investment in fo[more]
At the dawn of the 20th century there was a real boom in the market for high end books. This created demand for really exceptional book illustrators and many traditionally trained artists brought their skills to publishers and were very well paid for their work. New printing techniques made it possible to publish ver[more]
From time to time I get to do some creative design work for political causes, especially in opposition to efforts to expand cybersurveillance and give the NSA access to your personal information on the internet. This week is the drive to stop CISA, which would make Facebook, Google and even your ISP accomplices in t[more]
I was browsing through the new release section in my local bookstore, enjoying the nostalgia of the printed book, when my eye was caught by an historical novel called "The Siege Winter." More specifically the cover design drew my attention, because it used one of our earliest fonts, Cymbeline. More particularly I was s[more]
It's time for politics, with primaries coming up early next year for the presidential elections. That means that candidates and protesters and marching activists all need posters and we have the fonts to make them look good and draw the eye. Whether you're standing outside a milk subsidies townhall or marching for fe[more]
W. Heath Robinson was an artist of the first half of the 20th century who started his career as a book illustrator and produced many fantasy and fairytale illustrations, including illustrating Charles Kingsley's The Water Babies. Later in his career he became a cartoonist producing humorous cartoons of fanciful weapons[more]
- New Font: Tilbury
- Optical Illusion Skull Images
- ebay uk only: How smart guys on this site. Surprised.
- Installing Fonts
- Monospaced Fonts and the Waffle House
- Sighting: Cymbeline Font in the Bookstore